9.5 Mental Changes to Become Wealthier

I recently read an article on Business Insider called 9 things rich people choose to do that poor people don't. I found the article quite interesting, but the feedback among people who followed the link I shared to it was quite negative. They saw it as victim blaming and more of the rich blaming the poor for being poor. However, I believe that the article was written to be a list of suggestions for improving one's mindset to achieve greater wealth, rather than just saying "these people are good, these people are bad."

I believe that there are very important lessons in this article which have been overlooked because of the tone, so here are the 9 lessons of the article reframed in terms of how you can think and act like a wealthy person to become a wealthier person.

The economy on the whole is more and more stacked against those trying to climb the social/economic ladder, and on the whole there are major structural changes that are needed to maintain the stability of our society such as an increased minimum wage, debt free education, universal health care, and the like. However, this is not about everyone. This is about me and you and what an individual can do right now to improve their position.

1. Earn What You Are Worth and Work For Yourself
There has been much debate on the minimum wage and what it should be. Some people argue that if you are working full time, you should be able to support your family in any job. Others counter that minimum wage jobs are meant to be starter level jobs that one should rise up from.

Many people who work low wage do so because they do not believe they can do any better. If you believe that you cannot do better than minimum wage, then you are correct... until you change that attitude. You probably have a skill which will earn you more than minimum. Car salesmen, house painters, and nannies make more than minimum wage. If you are good at academic subjects, you can get $18-$50/hour tutoring privately. A good auto detailer can make good wage. A waiter in a decent restaurant can make $15+.

This is where you might argue that you or someone you know worked at a restaurant and made less than $9/hour because of bad scheduling or poor tips or shady managers or whatever. To which I reply that I did not promise that all restaurants will get you good money, just that it is possible at some restaurants, so if you end up at the crappy one where you make bad money, fire your boss and move on.

When I say work for yourself, I do not mean that you should start your own business, although you could. What I mean is that you are ultimately accountable to yourself and your family. You make a business arrangement with an employer that you will provide a certain level of service and they will provide a certain level of compensation. Should this arrangement stop working for you, you must stop working for them and find a better opportunity.

2. Focus on Opportunities, not Obstacles
Difficult things will happen in your life. Changes and challenges will occur. For example, having kids is usually not considered a good economic investment. However, my economic situation is better now that I have a child than it was before. Partly it is because knowing I needed to take care of her forced me to focus on my opportunities. Partly it is that being a parent has opened doors that were closed to a non-parent.

It is easy to make excuses for why things are not going your way. I know because I have made many of these excuses. I had every excuse in the book for why Phoenix Games did not make money, but ultimately, it came down to me not being willing to do what I needed to do to make it profitable.

In the example above, I suggested that working in sales or waiting tables could make good money. Someone with a success mindset will try a job that doesn't work out, and conclude that the particular job was the wrong one and go to the next opportunity. Someone with a failure mindset will conclude that this whole "getting ahead" thing is not for them and there is no point in trying.

Try. Fail. Try again. Fail better. Keep trying. Succeed.

3. Associate With the Right People
Do your friends whine about how hard their lives are, never take responsibility for their circumstances, and wait for luck to fix things for them? If so, these people may be a bad influence. What influence do your friends have? Let's imagine you are trying to find a job, but you are having no luck. You commiserate with your friends, and they confirm that you are doing nothing wrong, it's the economy that sucks. Why not take the night off and have some fun and relax. This reinforces the desire to blame outside factors for your failure. It sure beats self analysis and harder work.

However, what if your friends, instead of telling you that you did nothing wrong, worked with you to figure out what you could do better, or, even better looked through their own contacts to see whom they might introduce you to? Instead of finding excuses, you are finding solutions.

The first set of friends makes you feel better about failing. The second set helps you succeed.

4. Promote Yourself
If you don't tell people how great you are, who will? There is a belief among most people that it is tacky to self-promote, and in some contexts it is. However, there are times when it is necessary. If you are trying to make a sale or get a job, you must promote yourself. Even more than that, if you are going to move forward, people need to know what you do and what you are looking for.

Most people who I know know that I sell cars, and thus am looking for people to buy cars. More than that, they know that I specialize in challenged credit and low cost cars. They also know that I am involved in conventions.  By having that information out there, when they encounter people looking for what I have, they will make the introduction. However, if I were quiet and modest, I would miss out. This is not a matter of taking advantage. When someone introduces a friend who needs a car to me, it solves a problem that their friend has, it makes me a sale, and it earns my friend a favor. Everyone wins.

If there is something you want, something you can do, something you deserve, make sure people know about it. People like to help people, but they have to know what you want and need to connect you with it.

5. Don't Shrink Before Challenges, Grow Bigger
When you encounter a challenge, if your first reaction to think of reasons why it is insurmountable or to find ways to overcome it? Be honest. Most people are the former. If a challenge cannot be overcome, then you can stop worrying about it. Nothing could be done. Not your fault.

That's great because it makes you feel better, but it does not help you more forward. If you are happy where you are in life and don't feel any improvement is needed, then challenges can be let alone. However, if you want to improve your circumstances, you must look at every challenge and obstacle as something that can be overcome. Your first reaction must be to know that there is a solution, you just need to find it.

6. When Offered A or B, Choose Both
Life is full of choices, but often there is a secret third option of both, but it requires creativity. You need to make money but you want an education. There is not time for both. Get creative. Is there a way to work for the school to earn money as part of your education. Is that piece of paper from the college important or is it that you want greater career opportunities that come with education? If it is the latter, work to get an internship with an entrepreneur or something who can teach you, The lessons will help you advance, and the relationship developed will be invaluable.

I reiterate that people should not be forced to choose between survival and education, and our society must provide education. However, until they do, we must work in the world that is, rather than the world that should be.

7. Focus on Wealth, not Income
The wealth mindset is one of accumulating resources over time to increase prospects. The income mindset is one of trying to get as much in the paycheck so that it can be spent today. Wealth is not just money, it can be relationships, experience, skills, and other resources. By having a wealth mindset, you approach every choice by asking, which option will provide me the most resources for the next stage of my life, rather than asking which will let you buy the most stuff now.

Little by little, that wealth accumulates creating additional opportunities. Connections that I made a decade ago have come to fruition, creating opportunities for both me and the people I am connected to.

8. Constantly Learn and Grow
School is never out. If you seek to move forward, you must always be learning. If you have made it this far into this blog, chances are that you do read and work to improve yourself. That is good. Even the best are always seeking to improve. Champion athletes at the top of their game still spend hours in the gym learning and practicing to get even better. Whatever you want to do, constant improvement is vital to get there.

9. Take the Hard Road
The way to wealth is rarely the easy road. Staying at your current job is easy, but it may not provide you an opportunity. Changing jobs or starting a business or adding a second project on the side may be much harder, much more challenging, but only by taking that hard road will you get where you want to go.

9.5. You Will Fail Before You Succeed
Thomas Edison failed to invent the light bulb over 10,000 times before he got it right. Each filliment that didn't work got him one step closer to the one that would. Your first business may fail, so may your second. Your first job in sales may be a terrible experience. This is how it is. The choice that will determine if you achieve your goals or fail to do so is what you do with that failure. If you learn from them and get back on the horse and try again, you will eventually succeed, but if you take that as a sign that you never should have started a business or tried that new career, then you will eventually stop striving, and failure and mediocrity is absolutely guaranteed.

Management and Leadership

If you read management literature, you will see discussion of the difference between "management" and "leadership". Generally the implication is that management is not enough and that organizations need leadership, but there's more to it than that as I am seeing with an organization I work with.

Management is the ability to get all the troops marching in the same direction: assigning tasks, tracking data, making sure that things get done. Operational tactics, in other words.

Leadership is more strategic, creating a vision that everyone can share. Inspiring everyone that what they are doing is meaningful and that their part of the project is important.

Management is organizing the troops into squads, telling each one where to start up the hill, tracking results and making adjustments. Leadership is convincing the troops that taking this hill is critical to victory and that their efforts and courage today will bring an end to the war.

Both are necessary. With only management, you have a force which gets halfway up the hill then hits problems and says "why are we here," a force that can't keep going when the going gets tough. With only leadership, the people are inspired, motivated, unstoppable, but disorganized and running in different directions.

Every leader has a combination of these two traits in differing amounts. The best managers, are rarely great inspiring leaders. The most charismatic of leaders rarely can provide the organization needed. That is why leadership teams are important. Many companies have a Chief Executive Officer who provides the big picture vision and a Chief Operations Officer who manages the nitty gritty. The CEO can create a grand plan which the COO can put nuts and bolts on. Thus, the people in the company both know what their day to day job is and feel that they are part of something big and important.

As often happens, people often think that their own traits are the most important. Highly organized people might think the organization's problem is a lack of organization. Visionaries might see a lack of vision. The key is to realize that the combination of all these factors create success, then to seek out the diverse skills and abilities to achieve it.

Seeing Is Believing... But Not Knowing

The controversial dress. Science says
it's blue, by the way.

You have probably seen the white (or blue) dress with gold (or black) trim. I shall start by saying that
dresses are not, of themselves, interesting. The phenomenon of two people looking at the exact same things, seeing different facts, then vehemently insisting that they are correct and that those who disagree are wrong, is absolutely fascinating.

First, let's briefly talk about the science. Wired explains it very well in this article. Photo analysis reveals that the dress is actually Blue, but there is a mechanism in the visual cortex of the brain which filters out illumination color to allow us to see the color of an object even if the lighting is biased. The lighting of this image combined with the background, as well as the two colors on the dress cause the brain to filter the colors wrong in one direction or the other.

Now, for the more interesting aspect. A highly rational person will look at this situation and deduce that there must be a true color of the dress and that some form of analysis would reveal it. The Internet at large is mostly not populated by highly rational people. Rather, many people form an initial opinion and hold to it fiercely. When people saw the dress and saw white, they believed their eyes and assumed that those who saw blue were lying or colorblind or perhaps insane. The people who saw blue felt likewise about those who saw white.

We're talking about something that has an objective correct answer that people are arguing about. What about things that don't have such an objective answer like the Middle East, Obamacare, or abortion? If we jump to having tightly held views on something which is easily proven or disproven, what happens when we jump to tightly held views on more serious but nebulous issues?

The dress that launching a thousand memes.

Then, there is the fact that people believe what they see. Eyewitness testimony is considered highly convincing, yet people often misremember what they see. Our senses bring us the world which is then filtered through a series of processes in our brains. Biases play a part. Simple brain structure and chemistry play a part. Seeing is a start, but it is not the end.

The lesson here may be like the line from Hamlet "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." The world is a complex place, and even something as seemingly simple as the color of an image may be more nuanced than at first it seems.

When you see one thing and you friend sees another, rather than argue, perhaps it is more productive to dig deeper and find out what is really going on. You never know what you might find down that rabbit hole.

Class Privilege and Non-Profit Conventions

There are certain phrases that set my teeth on edge when I hear them. "Check your privilege" is one of them. It is too often a phrase used to make me think I should feel bad for having the audacity to be born cis male, white, straight, able, etc. However, today I had to opportunity feel the need to use the phrase.

The discussion was about non-profit versus for-profit scifi/geek conventions. First, let me provide a little background for those of you who do not work on half a dozen cons a year. Many scifi cons, especially the older ones such as Arisia, Boskone, Philcon, Lunacon, and Albacon, are non-profit organizations. No one on the staff is paid in any way other than free admission and possibly free hotel rooms. The cons are generally run by a board or membership and the chair is elected each year.

For-profit cons, in spite of the name, do not tend to be major money makers. While there might be some cons out there that do make big money, they are very much the exception. All the for-profit cons I have encountered pay the very senior staff a modest sum to compensate them for their time. Many newer cons started in the last 10 years follow that structure.

I would estimate that chairing a small convention like Pi-Con probably takes about 300-600 hours to plan for a single con, and this is a smaller convention. A larger convention likely requires much more time.

I sometimes hear the attitude from people who work non-profit cons that they would never work for a "for-profit" con because they would not want to volunteer so someone else could get paid. I'm not going to address the fact that people volunteer for all kinds of money making organizations from hospitals to day cares to political organizations (but think about that for a moment). I have another point to raise.

Working poor people don't have 300-600 hours to donate to a cause. A certain level of affluence is required to have that kind of leisure time to donate. I work a middle class job, which allows me the flexibility to chair a convention on an entirely volunteer basis. However, many people do not have that option. Furthermore, there is a limit to the size and complexity of an event that one can run as an unpaid hobby. Some might use some of the larger, successful nonprofit cons as an example that staff can be found to volunteer, and that may be fine for an established con. (Although many of those old cons are shrinking and fading over time for lack of new blood to run them.)

However, what if one wants to start a new convention? It's going to take an initial investment. Either people on staff with money to put up, which requires a certain affluence, or some sort of loan, which would likely require a personal guarantee by someone running the con. To suggest that someone who wants to run a con should both take on personal risk then volunteer their time to run it seems like a very entitled attitude, given that those who tend to hold this attitude are rarely the same people willing to take the risks to start the convention.

The fact is that there are many people who want to start conventions but cannot afford to give up the kind of time it takes to start and run a con without being paid for it. In the time that they are running the event, they could be engaging in an activity which makes money, like working a job, and for most people, that's what they need to do with their time. Let us also consider that the people who do run conventions and get paid for it (1) are not getting rich in the process, and (2) are usually taking disproportionate financial risk.

So, saying that for-profit cons are somehow less than non-profit cons implies either that only people wealthy enough to have leisure time to volunteer should lead conventions or that those who are willing to lead events should be willing to sacrifice their own standard of living so that everyone else can enjoy an event. Both of these are entitled attitudes, and the first implication drips with class privilege.

If you are the sort who looks down on for-profit cons, ask yourself this: if a competent, enthusiastic, but poor person wanted to take on the task of starting a con, what do you propose they do? Should they sacrifice so you can enjoy their con? Should they take on financial risk with no opportunity of financial reward? Or might it be fair that they could collect a modest income for their hundreds of hours of work. And, given that they are willing to dedicate their energies to creating this con rather than other work which would likely be more profitable, do you think it perhaps reasonable that you could find a few hours to contribute to support their efforts?

If you volunteer in major roles at cons for no pay, consider your life circumstances that allow you to be able to do that. You may not be rich, but you at least live a comfortable enough life to have leisure time to donate to con-running.

Much as I hate to say it, before judging those conventions that pay their leadership (if they are successful, that is), take a moment to check your privilege.

2014 In Review

A ConCardia Tournament at ChessieCon this fall.

This has been quite an eventful year for me. I took a shot at turning ConCardia into a real business and missed the mark. I got back into the car business. I took over a bookshop. And, of course, I crossed that great threshold of moving from not being a parent to being a parent.

During 2013, ConCardia was growing and I felt that if only I was freed from the constraints of a car salesman's schedule, I could really make something happen with it. When I left Volkswagen last December, I decided to take advantage of Unemployment to give ConCardia the old college try. As it turns out, the market for it is very different from my initial concept. Unemployment ran out, and it became time to find regular work again. I am glad that I gave it a shot. I am back at a car dealership, and I am working as many hours as ever, but now I know that I gave ConCardia its shot. It's a fun project to run, and people enjoy it, but it will likely never provide my living.

My daughter gets an early start with networking, smoozing the
President of the Young Professionals of Eastern Connecticut
at a recent event.

This process also brought me to land at a great dealership with wonderful people. I enjoy my time here. I can really see being here for a very long time, at least as long as it is led by the same great people and has the same pleasant environment for staff as well as customers.

When 2014 began, I had the sensation of going down a waterslide. I had faith that things would end up in a good place, but I knew that I had precious little influence in the events to unfold. The best I could do would be to approach it with faith and love and hope for the best.

Inspiring baby is inspiring!

As I look at 2015, I expect a more settled year. Of course, with my daughter, there will be huge changes: first steps, maybe first words, and who knows what else. But coming into this year I was unsettled and seeking. I was unsatisfied with where I lived, the lack of people I knew, and my career trajectory. Now, I am living in a better place. I have people I work with whom I believe will become friends. I know some wonderful people through networking, especially the Chamber of Commerce and Young Professionals of Eastern CT. I have a job which I enjoy and which will provide for my needs and enable me to put money aside.

Most importantly, I have a focus which can set all the varied threads of my life in focus: my daughter. I need a good job and good income potential so I can give her what she needs. I work to build ConCardia so we will have the means to involve her in the convention community as she grows. I seek friends and associates to be a resource for her as she grows up. This sense of focus, combined with having the resources to serve her, give me a sense of satisfaction and direction that I lacked 12 months ago.

So, here's to a happy and stable new year!

Why Kia?

The best selling of the Kia line is the Soul. So, you could say
that in my new job, I buy and sell Souls.
Bad jokes are my forte.

After a brief stint at Valenti VW in Mystic, I have now settled in at Michael Kia in Groton, Connecticut. This is a bit of a shift for me because the value proposition for a Kia is very different from that of a Volkswagen. Kia is a more affordable vehicle, offering more technology and warranty for less money. However, that is not what brought me here.

In college, I once got the advice that if you find a good professor, you should take any class with them that you can, no matter the subject. The experience of learning from a good teacher is more valuable than any particular field of study. I feel that the same thing applies for managers. I got to know my current manager after meeting him at a Chamber of Commerce event. We had been talking for a couple months about my trying to get some kind of training position in the dealer group. When that fell through, he offered me a sales job here. I liked his attitude and approach, so I gave it a shot, and I'm glad I did.

Actually, this is our Forte. No, I never do get tired of puns,
why do you ask?

This showroom has the most upbeat and positive team I have ever worked with. The management and sales staff work together as a team. Proper process exists to make sure that vehicles are ready and paperwork is quick and efficient. The benefits me because it means I can focus on the sales process, and it benefits the customer because they find a calmer, more friendly environment and a more efficient buying process.

All in all, I am very pleased with my new selling home, and I look forward to having a lot of fun and helping a lot of people to solve their car needs.

Did you say 'Ello'?

There's this new social media side called Ello out there. Well, there is the steel frame on which they will build Ello soon. Setting up a profile feels a little like moving into an apartment with plywood floors and no glass in the windows because it hasn't been installed yet.

But, their heart is in the right place, and sometimes that's all it takes. The Ello team decided they were tired of being a product to be packaged and sold to advertisers by Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and the rest. So they set about making a social networking site that was built all around the social networking, not the monetization of personal data.

This leads many to say "That can't work. How can they make any money without advertising or selling data?"

Ah, yes. A social network could not possibly survive without advertising and selling personal data. That's why Live Journal went bust. No, wait. Live Journal didn't go bust. It did quite well for a number of years until the creator was offered a bunch of money to sell out, and he did, then the site drifted into obscurity.

When you create a corporate monstrosity, people will be very hesitant to share their money with it. Live Journal, while it was still being run by its creator, did not have a giant corporate feel. Because of that, people were more than happy to purchase paid accounts. This produced more than enough revenue. It was only when the new owners got greedy and started putting in ads that the site started to look tacky.

The money is out there, and for a social networking site that provides them what they want, people will pay $20 a year for premium features. And by people, I mean 1% of the people, which is probably about all they need to make it a profitable business model. At least it will work this way for as long as the idealistic creators run it, until some big investor offers them 9 figures to sell it, and they do then we are all looking for the next Live Journal. Fortunately, if history is a guide, we have 4-7 years to enjoy this new site before that happens.

Moral of the story: join Ello, post some stuff. I have invites.


P.S. Some people have expressed concerns about the security of the site. Let me try to put this in simple terms:

Posting on the Internet is public! 
Don't post secrets on the Internet!
People will read them!

I don't post things online because I want them not to be seen. If I want something not to be seen, I'll keep it somewhere secret, not on a social media site.