Networking Events: But They All Know Each Other Already!

Pictured: A whole lot of people who do not all know
each other.

(This is an excerpt from The Guy Who Knows a Guy by Michael Whitehouse)
You finally make it out to a networking event. Maybe a Business After Hours. Maybe some other kind of mixer. You come in, you pay your admission, you put your business card in the raffle basket. Now what?

You look around the room and it’s full of people talking to each other. Everyone is engrossed in conversation. They all already know each other, and you’re the newbie trying to find your way in. It’s a high school dance all over again.

Or is it?

Not pictured: a networking event.

What would be the point of a networking event where everyone all knew each other. There have been some such events, and they tend to dwindle down and eventually fail entirely. Why? Because the entire purpose of a networking event is to meet people and make connections.

What about those knots of people having long, engrossed conversations. There are two such groups you will likely find at a networking event.

The first is people from the same company who are there because the company pays for it and it’s a great place to catch up, have some wine from the open bar and have a nice after work experience. Often, these are not necessarily people who really need to network, but the company sends them out because even at the absolute minimum level of networking effort an opportunity might stumble upon you. You can usually tell these groups because everyone’s name tag has the same company on it.

Networking events are where
people go to meet new people.

These are decent groups to approach because they are in a very social comfortable mood, and, deep down, they know that their job here is to meet new people who might be of benefit for their company, and you approaching them gives them the opportunity to do so without leaving their comfort zone.

The other sort who will be having long engrossing conversations are people who just met each other. Think about it. If you see someone you know at an event, you might chat a little. How’s the wife? How’s the dog? How about that local sports team? Then, unless you have some actual business to talk about, chances are that you’ll move on. However, if you meet someone new, you don’t know anything about them. Even the most mundane questions are interesting. “Where do you work?” “What does your company do?” “Are you new to the area?” It’s all new ground, and you’re all there to meet new people, so the delving may be deep.

These people are also great to approach. You are walking up to two or more people who are just feeling each other out. Even if you just join the conversation without saying much, you can still listen in and overhear their quick biographies.

So, those groups that all look like they know each other? Either they do know each other and are looking to meet new people but are too shy to go out and meet them, or they don’t actually know each other and just met.

The moral of the story is not to be afraid. Everyone at a networking event is there to network. It's not about exclusive cliques or sticking to your own circle. If people wanted to do that, they'd stay home or go join the Stonecutters.

Definitely NOT Pictured: a networking event.

Gaining by Giving: 5 Ways I Make My Living Giving Things Away

Source: http://www.ziglar.com/quotes/you-can-have-everything-life-you-want

One of the most interesting paradoxes in business is that the best way to be successful is to give freely (but wisely). I make my living working for a printing company that offers excellent value and exceptional quality, and my job is to bring clients to this company. I do this in two different ways. One way I do it is good, old fashioned pounding of the pavement. I visit businesses and I seek to discover needs that they might have which I might fulfill. This is a time tested and effective method to develop business. I earn small orders which lead to larger orders, and, in time, we become the go to vendor for printing for those clients. I also earn a lot of "no"s and a lot of running around. That's just the nature of the profession.

However, there is a second strategy that I employ. I have over 15 years of experience in running events and small to medium scale marketing including social media. I give advice in these areas absolutely free. I will sit down with anyone in my area for half an hour to an hour and gain an understanding of their business so that I may offer suggestions and direction based on my experience. I also volunteer to help run local events: parades, festivals, fund raisers, etc. With this variety of connections, I also often make introductions between two people who would otherwise not meet if there can be a mutual benefit.

The three parts of this "giveaway" strategy bring in no dollars. No matter how much I help with an event, how valuable a connection is that I make, or how much time I spend providing marketing advice, I do not charge a cent. In fact, I do not even establish an expectation that someone I help will purchase any printing that they might need through me. A cynic might suggest that I am being naive and giving away my time and skills. A cynic would be less successful in the field of sales than I am.

Here are five R's that return value for my efforts: Relationships, References, Resulting Opportunities, Reciprocity, and Really Fun.

You never know what kind of
interesting people you might
get to know.

Relationships

When I cold call a prospect, they don't know me from Adam. They don't know if I am a good person or a bad person. They don't know much about my company, our quality, our reputation, our reliability. I need to start absolutely from scratch. If they knew everything about me and our company, it would be a foregone conclusion for many prospects that they would work with us, because I am a good and honest person who takes care of his customers, and Minuteman does excellent work and provides great value. My job is to slowly build trust and understanding over repeated interactions, a task made more difficult by the fact that all they know when they first meet me is that I want their money.

However, if a relationship begins with helping someone with their project, freely providing the benefit of my skills and experience, the work of building trust is half done.

References

If I arrange for someone to get a great set of business cards and letterhead, they will be pleased and they might share my name with someone they know who needs my services. However, if I provide help to a project or event or business in a way that helps to make it more successful, then they are far more likely to pass my name along to someone whom I could assist, either in the field of printing, or with my other talents.

Resulting Opportunities

My life as a car salesman: waiting for customers rather than
creating a benefit for the community.

Some of the connections I make create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. Introducing two people could create a new event, a new project, or even a new business. It is quite likely that this new creation will have new needs that I can fulfill. When I sold cars, I found that there was a lack of satisfaction because I did not make anything. If I were not there, the customer would buy a car from someone else and their life would be largely the same. However, through the connections I can facilitate, I can do more than simply fulfill needs that already exist which would have been filled whether I came along or not: I can create something new, and that is a powerful good feeling for me.

Reciprocity

I do not set an expectation that purchases will come to me when I lend my time and talents for two reasons: people do not like to feel that they are being forced to do something and most people are good and honorable. If I provide something of value, most people will want to find a way to return the favor to me. It is true that there are some people who will take advantage, benefiting from what I give but taking their business elsewhere. When I encounter such a person, I don't worry about it or get upset. I might think twice before volunteering to work with them again, but I won't otherwise bear them any ill will. The value of the positive relationships I can form with people by being open and generous is worth far more than the small disappointments that occasionally result.

The average salesman never gets the chance to run a
department at a convention with a radio in hand while
sitting on a throne of boxes.

Really Fun

I enjoy sharing marketing ideas. I love working on events. I get a charge out of making an introduction and seeing something blossom from it. Sales can be a fun business, but it can also be draining. Calling on strangers day in and day out can wear on you. The stress of making sure everything goes right so that the customer is happy every time is also taxing. But developing good relationships with people, helping to make good things happen, and being a part of the business community makes it all so much easier.

What is interesting is how few other salespeople I encounter in my endeavors. Maybe they don't see the immediate payoff. Maybe they are too focused on making an immediate sale to see the value of relationships. Who knows?

When I encounter someone who is giving something without an obvious return, I get suspicious. What are they after? That is part of why I wrote this article. I am quite upfront with why I volunteer my time and talents. I expect that in the ways described above, it will come back to me professionally, not necessarily directly from the individual or organization I assisted, but from the community at large. I get to do something good and helpful in way that helps to build my business. A win for everyone.

If you run a business on the eastern shoreline of Connecticut or are running an event that could use my help, don't hesitate to get in touch. I'd love to help out, for both your benefit and mine. You can call me at 203-707-1245 or email me.

Note: To those of you involved with BNI who read my title and had the thought "Gaining by Giving? that sounds like Givers Gain! Have you considered joining BNI?" Yes, I have. I am a part of the Gold Star BNI Chapter in Groton, CT.

2014 In Review

A ConCardia Tournament at ChessieCon this fall.

This has been quite an eventful year for me. I took a shot at turning ConCardia into a real business and missed the mark. I got back into the car business. I took over a bookshop. And, of course, I crossed that great threshold of moving from not being a parent to being a parent.

During 2013, ConCardia was growing and I felt that if only I was freed from the constraints of a car salesman's schedule, I could really make something happen with it. When I left Volkswagen last December, I decided to take advantage of Unemployment to give ConCardia the old college try. As it turns out, the market for it is very different from my initial concept. Unemployment ran out, and it became time to find regular work again. I am glad that I gave it a shot. I am back at a car dealership, and I am working as many hours as ever, but now I know that I gave ConCardia its shot. It's a fun project to run, and people enjoy it, but it will likely never provide my living.

My daughter gets an early start with networking, smoozing the
President of the Young Professionals of Eastern Connecticut
at a recent event.

This process also brought me to land at a great dealership with wonderful people. I enjoy my time here. I can really see being here for a very long time, at least as long as it is led by the same great people and has the same pleasant environment for staff as well as customers.

When 2014 began, I had the sensation of going down a waterslide. I had faith that things would end up in a good place, but I knew that I had precious little influence in the events to unfold. The best I could do would be to approach it with faith and love and hope for the best.

Inspiring baby is inspiring!

As I look at 2015, I expect a more settled year. Of course, with my daughter, there will be huge changes: first steps, maybe first words, and who knows what else. But coming into this year I was unsettled and seeking. I was unsatisfied with where I lived, the lack of people I knew, and my career trajectory. Now, I am living in a better place. I have people I work with whom I believe will become friends. I know some wonderful people through networking, especially the Chamber of Commerce and Young Professionals of Eastern CT. I have a job which I enjoy and which will provide for my needs and enable me to put money aside.

Most importantly, I have a focus which can set all the varied threads of my life in focus: my daughter. I need a good job and good income potential so I can give her what she needs. I work to build ConCardia so we will have the means to involve her in the convention community as she grows. I seek friends and associates to be a resource for her as she grows up. This sense of focus, combined with having the resources to serve her, give me a sense of satisfaction and direction that I lacked 12 months ago.

So, here's to a happy and stable new year!

Making the Most of Business After Hours Networking

They say that in business, it's not what you know, it's who you know. Some people use that axiom as an excuse for failure, but I simply see it as a fact of business. If who you know is very important, and you don't know the right people, what do you do about it? Meet the right people!

One of the best ways to start making connections is an open networking event. Most chambers of commerce run something similar. Some call it "Business After Hours" others call it "After 5". Whatever it is called, the structure is the same. A member organization looking to show off what they do hosts the event, which runs every month or so at different venues. There is generally food and drink provided, and a whole bunch of people show up and put on name tags.

The after hours networking event.
Valuable opportunity or terrifying
chore, depending on your
perspective.

This can be one of the most valuable and rewarding or terrifying and stultifying events you will encounter depending on how you approach it.

The first thing to do before you even show up is to prepare. Be sure that your look is the look that you want the business community to know you by. If you are a creative type who always wears jeans and a polo, and that's how you want people to know you, you can wear that. If you want to appeal to the professionals and bankers and lawyers, you'll want a suit, or at least a nice button down shirt. Whatever look you are going for, make sure it is neat. Tousled hair, 3 days beard growth, and ratty sneakers will not give anyone confidence in your business.

If you have business cards, make sure to bring them. If you don't, get them printed. They're cheap, and they are a very good way to start the conversation.

Finally, figure out what your goal is in attending the function. Are you looking for clients? Are you looking for networking partners who can help introduce you to clients? Are you looking for other people in your industry with whom you can share ideas? Are you looking to enjoy the company of other business people because it's a nice change from the office? Depending on what your goal is, you will want to adopt a different approach to the event.

If you are lucky, you have a friend to introduce you around. Most chambers have "ambassadors" who introduce new people around. If you have someone like that to guide you, then you are in good shape, assuming that your guide can introduce you to the people you are looking to meet.

If there is a specific individual you are looking to meet or someone from a specific company, ask a member of the host chamber if they could introduce you. It is much easier to get an introduction to a specific person than an introduction to some people.

The experience of a new person without a guide is often the same: you walk in, possibly knowing one or two people. Maybe knowing no one at all. Everyone seems to know each other. They are all standing in little knots of twos and threes and none of them seem particularly interested in talking to you. Some people, at this point, will start to think of the group as cliquish, and write it off as just a bunch of old buddies getting together, making it hard to meet anyone. Resist that temptation.

Of course, they are not particularly interested in talking to you. They don't know who you are, what you do, or what you have to offer. It's your job to create interest. (You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?) If you have someone to introduce you, the introduction can create the interest. If you are on your own, however, it's up to you. So, how do you meet people at an event where everyone seems to be engaged in conversation?

While the food is often phenomenal,
you came here to build your business,
not feed your face.

Everyone at a networking event is wearing a nametag, and most of them are there to network and meet new people. Most of them are also just as shy about walking up to new people as you are. The difference is that they know people there, so, where your alternative to meeting new people is holding up a wall, their alternative to meeting new people is talking to the ones they already know.

Now, that you understand that most of the people there actually are open to meeting you, let's meet some people. Find a clot of people who are of interest to you. Perhaps the business indicated on their nametag tells you that they would be someone good to meet. Perhaps they are the group standing closest to you. It doesn't matter, you will meet lots of people in the next two hours.

Approach the group, and observe their body language. Most people at these events are engaged in casual conversation, but some might be trying to conduct some sort of business or at least formally introduce themselves in preparing for future business relations. If that seems to be what is going on, then you might want to move on to the next group. You are less likely to make a good impression if you interrupt what was developing into a valuable opportunity for those you are interrupting.

A glass of wine might help you relax
and be more open to approaching
people, but remember you are here
for business. Stay sharp, not
shnokkered.

I discussed cliquishness earlier. That happens between people who have known each other a long time. If people know each other, they won't be talking serious business at their after hours event. They'll be chatting about golf and that thing that happened last year and kids and wives and cars. In other words, the clique standing around talking might be more open to being interrupted because they are more likely to be shooting the breeze, while the newer members, just meeting people and feeling out opportunities, may be harder to break into a conversation with.

So, let's say that you are approaching a group, and you find a break in the conversation. Often, a member of the group will notice you standing there, and draw you into the conversation. Since the only thing they really know about you is what's on your name tag, they will often start there. "So, Michael, what's Concardia?" I am often asked by way of introduction. Have your business card ready to hand to them as you explain what you do.

This is what the "elevator speech" is for. Be prepared to explain your business in 30 seconds or less. One or two sentences is better if you can do it, especially if they are crafted to elicit the response of "oh, really, that's interesting. Tell me more." You'll know you are doing it well if your business becomes the seed of the next conversation more often than not. After a polite amount of discussion of what you do and what you are looking for, turn it around and ask them what they do.

If no one starts the conversation, and if no obvious segue comes up to enter the conversation, wait for a lull in their talk and use the networking pick up line I described above. "So, Susan, what is Phillipson Associates?"  or "So, Robert, what do you do with Liberty Mutual?" There are few things wrapped up in this introduction. You are saying:

• "I am interested in you and what you do."
• "I am giving you the floor of this conversation for a moment to talk about yourself."
• "Please tell me what you are looking for so I can see if I can help you with it."
• "When you are done talking about you, I hope you will reciprocate with the opportunity to talk about me"

Your mission at these events is not to make sales. It is not even necessarily to make appointments to meet later. You have a very short 90-120 minutes to meet as many people as you can. During your time with each person you meet, your job is to arouse interest and get their card so that you can follow up and arrange an appointment to meet later. We'll talk about networking appointments in a future article.

If you approach an open networking event well prepared and equipped with a goal, you will come into a room seeing dozens of potential business contacts with whom you will have valuable, long lasting relationships. If you come in ill-prepared and unplanned, you will see a noisy, crowded room full of unfriendly strangers.

I attend the Eastern Connecticut Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours events regularly. If you are in Eastern Connecticut and would like some introductions, drop me a line. I'll be happy to help!

Job Search, Day 12 - The Power of Networking

On July 22nd, my fiancee convinced me that, if jobs could be found, I should hunt for them. On the 23rd, she sent me a list of jobs to look at. Smart lady, that fiancee of mine.

Last Friday, I received expressions of interest from four companies. Two of these, I found through Jobs In the Valley, a local jobs site. One was a short term job through Craig's List, and the fourth is through a friend of mine who is the officer manager of the company.

At both of the two through Jobs in the Valley which are showing potential, I knew the person in charge of the hiring through previous networking of business activity.

You will notice a trend here. Of the four jobs that are showing good potential, three of them have some kind of personal connection. As they say, it is not what you know, it is who you know. You might be thinking that's great for Michael Whitehouse, a compulsive networker, but what does that mean to you, Mr. or Ms. Reader?

There is no secret to knowing people. You just have to meet them. How do you meet them? Call them up and ask to meet with them. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Well, it is. Find people who are working in fields that you would like to work in. Not sure where to find them? Ask your friends who they know in the field. Check LinkedIn to see who is in your extended network. You do have a Linkedin account, right?

Once you identify people that it would be good for you to meet with, contact them. I recommend the phone for this contact. Tell them who you are and that you would love to sit down with them for 15 minutes to get their advice on your search. Tell them that you chose them because you know that they are knowledgeable and well connected, and you knew that they could help you.

No one is going to argue with that kind of assessment of themselves, and most people like to be able to help people. It's a great ego boost, and it works well for you because once you meet with them, their ego gets tied up in your success. If they can help you, they feel better about themselves.

When you meet with them, remember, this is not a job interview. You are not trying to get them to give you a job. You just want to get whatever valuable advice you can from them. It is possible that they may decide to call someone on your behalf or even offer you a job, but don't expect it.

Send a thank you note. An email one immediately, a paper one by snail mail right after. Thank you notes are rare in business these days, and yours will stand out.

If you are searching for a job, good luck. It's a tough world, but as they say, the harder you work, the luckier you get. Now, get up and find that job.