Solution Oriented Mindset

I am presently working on a new book, tentatively named "Solve Any Problem." This is the first chapter on the Solution Oriented Mindset. I'm curious to get some feedback and suggestions for points I should be sure to address in the rest of the book.

Chapter 1. Solution Oriented Mindset

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.”

-Henry Ford

 The first step to solving a problem is believing you can solve a problem. In fact, I would venture to say that as many as 90% of the problems in your life can be solved by what you will find in this very chapter.

 Among my many careers, I was a driving instructor for a number of years. One of the most important things that you teach in driving is to point your eyes where you want to go. Your hands follow your eyes. If you are skidding on the ice, you want to keep your eyes pointed down the road because that will give you the best chance to recover the vehicle. The tendency is to look at the thing you’re worried about: the guard rail, the other cars, etc, but if you do, that’s where you’ll go.

 With a problem it is the same way. The right thing to do is to fixate on the solution to the problem, the desired outcome. If you fixate on the problem, you’ll hit the problem, you’ll stay in the problem. The longer you live in the problem, the easier it will be to tell yourself that the problem is insoluble.

 Hopelessness is a very seductive state. Doing nothing is easy, and when there is no solution to a problem, then the right answer is to do nothing. Why waste energy fighting something that cannot be fixed? Why not just resign yourself to your fate and make the most of it?

 I’ll tell you why not. That form of resignation is the definition of depression.

There is a difference between resignation and acceptance. Resignation is defeat, embracing the negative. Acceptance is recognizing the negative, but embracing the positive. It can be understood in cinematic terms. When the hero sacrifices himself for the good of the many, standing tall on the bridge of the ship as it falls into the sun with inspiring music, he has weighed the choices and accepted his decision. He will live (or die) with the consequences.

Resignation, on the other hand, is living in an unacceptable situation, crushed by the failure to remedy it.

If you are poor because you have taken a vow of poverty or chosen to dedicate your life to your art with the recognition of the lack of financial opportunities, then the challenges that you encounter from a lack of money are a test of your faith that strengthens your spirit and will. It is the concept behind the deprivations of Lent. If you give up TV for Lent, then every time you walk by the TV, you are reminded of the strength of your faith and why you choose to deprive yourself. If you fast for a religious observance, each hunger pang reminds you of your love for God.

In these forms of acceptance, you would build your life to accommodate them. If you have chosen the life of a starving artist, then you will find inexpensive places to live, learn economical ways to feed yourself, find forms of fulfillment that don’t require money. In doing so, the deprivations of the wallet will not lead to a depression of the spirit.

On the other hand, if you are merely broke because there is too much month at the end of the money, and you have resigned yourself to the idea that you’re poor because your family has alway been poor and your friends are poor and that’s just the crappy hand you were dealt, then every deprivation will be another dagger into your spirit.

The person who has accepted poverty sees a social media post of friends at a fancy dinner and can feel happy for the friends, knowing that they themselves find their joy elsewhere. The person who is resigned to poverty sees the same post and can feel only envy and resentment.



In later chapters, we will discuss the importance of properly framing the problem for finding the solution. “I don’t have any money” is a statement, not an actionable problem. When I was a younger man, I owned a board and role playing game store which was the center of a beautiful and vibrant community. I had very little money, but I had accepted that fact and built my life to accommodate it. My lack of money rarely bothered me except when it affected what was truly important to me at the time which was my ability to build and maintain institutions which served our community.

Later in life, as a family man, not having money at certain times would become more of a problem in and unto itself because I had obligations to support my family which required money.

In that earlier phase, problems which seemed to be a lack of cash could be solved by reframing the situation, shifting or reducing expenditures. In the later phase, the problems of lack of money needed to be solved with finding more money because there were restrictions on how the situation could be restructured.



The opposite of being resigned to a problem is the faith that a solution always exists. The first step in this faith is to understand that the problem is rarely something as concrete as “I don’t have money” or “my company is failing.” Most problems can be broken down to some element of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

“I don’t have money” is most likely really a problem of safety as in “I need financial security,” or in more severe cases physiological as in “I need to be able to acquire food and shelter.”

Most people fixate on the problem. “I don’t have money.” What they should do is focus on the solution. “How can I acquire financial security?” When the problem is “I don’t have money,” then the only solution can be “get more money.” If the question is one of financial security, a panoply of other solutions come into view. They could find someone who is willing to provide room and board in exchange for being a governess or housekeeper. They could live in a cabin in the woods with no rent or electricity. They could work for a restaurant and get free meals. None of these would create more money, and some might even mean less, but that is not important because it would solve the real problem.

The important thing, regardless of the particular problem, is to first embrace the idea that there is a solution. You just have to find it.

Why do you search your house for your lost keys, but you don’t search your house for a pot of leprechaun gold? You believe that your lost keys are somewhere in your house. You do not believe there is a pot of gold in the house. Why would you waste time searching for something that does not exist.

It is the same way with solutions. Why would you search for a solution that you do not believe exists? When you are searching for your keys, you first search the obvious places: the counter, the couch, the mud room where you take off your boots, etc. Once the obvious places are exhausted you search the less obvious. Are they in the medicine cabinet? Did you put them in the freezer for some reason? The fireplace? The mulch around the bushes out front?

But you will only search the most unexpected locations if your faith that your keys are somewhere in your house is strong. If you are absolutely confident that you brought them into the house.

It is the same way with solutions. If you have a weak belief in a solution to your problem, then you will make a weak search for the solution. In the no money example, maybe you check the job listings once or twice, don’t see anything and give up. On the other hand, if you have an absolute confidence that there is a solution, then you will search high and low. You will never stop looking and trying and experimenting until you find that solution. You will research it. You will ask your friends. You will pray on it. You’ll never stop until you find it.

The best part is that, in many cases, this dedication to finding a solution can lead you to find one in less time than it would have taken to make a cursory search and give up. Why? If you are planning to give up, then you make a plodding and perfunctory search. You don’t try that hard. You have already decided to fail, which perversely means that success would mean you were wrong. On the other hand, if you have decided to succeed, you will seek the most aggressively effective solutions first.

Dave Durand, who has made a study of what he calls legacy achievers, says that one of the most powerful forces in the world is that of self justification. If you believe that you will fail, you want to justify that belief. You will want to justify your resignation. It’s not laziness, it’s prudence. Why waste energy on something that is doomed to fail? See, I tried this, that, and the other, and nothing worked. I put in an effort.



If you only learn one thing from this entire book, let it be the importance of a solution oriented mindset. If you believe that there is a solution, you will find it. You will find it because there is always a solution, so if you never stop looking, you’ll eventually find it. If you can embrace absolute confidence in the existence of a solution, you will eventually intuit everything else I can teach you about problem solving.

That doesn’t mean you should stop reading and figure everything out on your own. While you will intuit it all eventually, it is always more efficient to learn from the mistakes of others rather than making every single one yourself.

Five Lessons from SWA 1380

At 10:27 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018, Southwest Airlines Flight 1380, a Boeing 737 with 144 passengers and 5 crew members, took off from LaGuardia. 56 minutes later, the plane made an emergency landing in Philadelphia after the left engine blew apart, breaking a window and killing a passenger.

What happened during those 56 minutes, and the professionalism of the fight crew, Captain Tammie Jo Shults and First Officer Darren Ellisor, which saved the plane and other passengers, has a lot to teach us about how we face the challenges in our everyday, on the ground lives.

1. Remain Calm
Words never said: Something happened, and I panicked and that made it better. Whether it's an exploding engine causing your plane to roll precariously or an unexpected invitation to the bosses office, stay calm and work the problem.

If you listen to the ATC recording, considering that Captain Shults' just found out that one of her engines just blew a hole in her plane, you will find that her voice has about as much tension as the average person ordering a pizza. In fact, the professionalism of every voice in the recording is impressive.

Next time you encounter a crisis in your life, try describing it in exactly the same tone that Captain Shults says, "Yeah, we have a part of the aircraft missing, so we're gonna need to slow down a bit." Since your crisis is probably not on par with a "part of the aircraft missing," namely an engine, you'll find that it sounds silly to say it any more dramatically than she explains her situation.

2. Focus on the Desired Outcome
During the process of bringing the plane in safely, the pilot and copilot were aware that one of their passengers had been sucked out a window. They didn't know her condition or if she would survive, but they did know that their priority was getting the other 148 people on board safely to the ground.

In driving, your car will tend to follow your eyes. Sometimes, in a skid situation, a driver will fear hitting the guardrail and fix their eyes on it. At that point, it becomes nearly impossible to recover from the skid, and they hit the guardrail.

Many things in life are similar. Your path of travel will follow your attention. If you are fixated on things going wrong, you will follow your eyes to failure, but if you remain fixed on where you want to go, whether it is a safe landing on a runway or career success, you will have a much better chance of finding yourself there in the end.

3. Preparation

Pilot simulators allow pilots to prepare for the unexpected.

Most pilots will never have to land a plane with a blown engine or deal with any other major emergency during their careers, but every professional pilot spends countless hours in simulators preparing for any emergency you can imagine. This preparation for what will likely and hopefully never happen means that if they do find themselves in that situation they are prepared and are ready to deal with it like it's just another day at the office.

Most people do not take effort to prepare themselves even for the expected tribulations of life. Many professional salespeople do not practice or study their presentations. Many entrepreneurs don't study business to improve their skills. Many parents do not take advantage of resources to improve their parenting skills.

But for those who do, when they encounter the crisis, they find themselves fantastically prepared.

4. The Power of Process
In the airline industry, there are checklists and procedures for every situation. In an emergency, there is no time to work the problem and figure it out. There's no time to call experts and see what the right answer is. When you listen to the recording, you can tell that, even though there was no warning that this crisis was about to occur, everyone from the flight crew to the cabin crew to the air traffic controllers immediately knew what to do and how to handle the situation.

Many businesses and other organizations don't even have processes for predictable events that occur every day, leading to countless wasted hours as the same problems are worked day after day, rather than taking the time to consider the most common situations and put systems in place to deal with them automatically. However, you can tell which businesses and organizations which have processes because they are fast, efficient, and the people who work there have a calm about them that you only find in people who feel prepared.

5. The Mundane Matters
Fortunately, SWA 1380 got to the ground quickly because if it had not, then there would have been serious problems with hypoxia among the passengers. Why? Because almost none of them wore their oxygen masks correctly.

PEOPLE: Listen to your flight attendants! ALMOST EVERYONE in this photo from @SouthwestAir #SWA1380 today is wearing their mask WRONG. Put down the phone, stop with the selfies.. and LISTEN. **Cover your NOSE & MOUTH. #crewlife #psa #listen #travel #news #wn1380 pic.twitter.com/4b14lZulGm

— Bobby Laurie (@BobbyLaurie) April 17, 2018

Most people ignore the safety briefings before a flight because it is mundane and they've heard it a thousand times, but you are supposed to put your oxygen mask over your mouth and nose. If you don't, you won't get the oxygen it's supposed to be feeding you.

It is easy to stop paying attention to that mundane detail day after day, but that mundane detail may be the thing that means the difference between success and failure. Embrace the mundane. It could save your life, or it could save your business.

Talk More, Smile More

There are two lines from Hamilton that are frequently quoted but which have limited utility in the real world. The first is:

Jefferson: If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse/You can’t put it out from inside the house

This is a catchy line except I checked with a friend of mine who's a firefighter. If you're trying to douse a house fire, you have to go inside the house. The only thing you can do from outside the house is keep the fire from spreading to other structures.

It's also wrong metaphorically. If there is an organization that is doing something wrong, the only place that change can really occur is from within. Sure, you can protest or boycott or legislate, but all of those things simply apply pressure so that those who are inside will create the change you desire. If you apply enough pressure from outside, you may simply cause the organization to collapse taking the good with the bad, which is often an undesirable outcome.

So, dousing fires: must be done from inside the house.

The other is:

Burr: Talk less, Smile more. 

I've been more reticent than I would normally be for two reasons. The first is that my business involves acquiring clients, and it is important not to offend prospective clients with strong political views. The second, more recently, was that I was trying to save an event, Steampunk Worlds Fair, in the face of an angry mob on the Internet.

For the first issue, I find that I offend when I talk a little, such as sharing a partisan meme or short video clip, but I rarely offend when I speak in long format such as a blog post. This may be because people don't like to read a lot of words so they don't actually read the posts, or it may be because a longer format gives me the opportunity to fully explain the issue and the nuances of it, discussing common ground and possibly educating rather than just inflaming. Either way, it works better to talk more.

In the second effort, I was unsuccessful. In retrospect, I believe that part of my lack of success was because, as an organization, the team I was working with chose a strategy of reticence. Official statements were few and far between meaning that rumors, offhand comments, and other scraps of information could not be clarified or explained. We were helpless before the winds of rumor, tossed in a stormy sea of innuendo and suspicion which is born of silence.

Thus, all signs point to the conclusion that I must talk more. Now that I am no longer involved officially with any event running organization, it is time that I share some clarifying details and background information which may not have been shared previously, and which I feel may help to inform the ongoing discourse.

Even in other arenas, I feel that I have something to contribute. I had become frustrated trying to discuss political issues because I had been doing it in the wrong format. I have spoken elsewhere about the tragic descent of discourse when we moved from Live Journal to Facebook and Twitter. Live Journal was a shared journaling platform. People communicated in long form, at least a few paragraphs. Now we communicate in 140 characters or a meme or image. We've devolved from arguments to schoolyard taunts and our society is all the poorer for it.

I, for one, shall be returning to the longer form of discussion. You will agree with some things I say. You will disagree with others. My intention is not to make everyone agree with me by any means, but simply to make them understand where I am coming from.

Perhaps you shall join me, share your own views in long format. I am eager to read them.

If there is something you'd like me to write about, please reach out to me at feedback@michaelwhitehouse.org.

6 Ways to Achieve Your Dreams - That Most People Won't Follow

There are many people out there who have very fulfilling jobs. Their jobs align well with their skills and interests, paying them a good salary while giving them a sense of fulfillment. This article is not for them. It is for people who want to be them.

Chances are that there is something you are very good at. Maybe it's a craft or artistic skill like leather working, composition, or music. Maybe it's a knack for understanding where people are coming from and what they are thinking. If your best skill is not a core component of your job, then you are likely underpaid. If Steve Jobs got a job as a house cleaner, he'd get paid what a house cleaner does.

1. Look Broadly at Your Skills
Many highly talented people assume that the skills that they have are not marketable. Maybe you make leather armor as a hobby. When you search Indeed for "Armorer" there's not a lot of listings. However, it takes a variety of skills to be a good armorer. Three dimensional thinking, knowledge of materials, tools and often mechanical skills, aesthetics, color design, etc.

Break down your one big skill into smaller skills, then consider who gets paid to use those skills. I suspect that the skills of making armor and reupholstering furniture and vehicles are similar.

2. Know Your Limitations (Probably Less Thank You Think)
"Be reasonable and know your limitations" is some of the worst advice you can give someone, especially a young person. Not because it's not good to know your limits, but because telling someone to know their limitations is like telling them to know how to fly. Left to their own devices, everyone will get it wrong. When you were young, you probably had people saying something like this to you about knowing your limitations, but you thought you knew better. You thought you were unlimited, so you tried to soar... and you probably crashed and burned one or more times.

This convinced you that the nay-sayers were right, and you went from overestimating you abilities to underestimating your abilities. The irony is that while you were trying to do what turned out to be impossible, you were learning and developing skills. You are now more capable than you were before, but, believing that your detractors have been vindicated, you accept the limits they placed on you when you were younger.

When I talk about this, I'm not just talking about you, I'm talking about myself. I came out of college thinking I could do anything. I opened a game store and proceeded to make no money for five years. In my arrogance, I did not think I needed to study, so I did not learn (until much later) what I would have needed for success. That experience gave me the skills to succeed, but it also drained my confidence to try again so boldly, keeping me from putting those skills to use for many years.

If you find yourself looking at your dreams and not pursuing them because you are not good enough, then I'm talking to you. You're probably better than you think, and even if you are not, you can probably get good.

I say probably because there are some things that can never be overcome. If you want to join the NBA and you're 5'1", then you might want to think more broadly. Maybe Baseball might be a better sport. However, if it's a matter of lack of skill and talent, then remember that dedication and humility will overcome natural talent every time.

3. Know What You Want to Do
Part of "knowing your limitations" often involves settling. Maybe you are a seamstress and you wish you could make fine wedding dresses, but you believe that it beyond you, so you put it aside and follow a career path that takes you in a different direction.

If someone were to ask you what you want in your next job, you'd say "more money, better hours, benefits." But the truth would be that what you want in your next job is to be one step closer to creating beautiful dresses. Most people never achieve their dreams because they don't take a single step towards them.

4. Yes, You Can
In response to what I'm sure you just said to the last section, yes, you can. Whatever justification you just offered is probably an excuse (unless you're 5'1" and want to play for the NBA).
There's no jobs in my area in that industry.
I don't have the skills.
I don't have the experience.
I don't have the contacts.
I can't afford it.

Any of those sound familiar?

Some reasons are legitimate, but many are excuses. All to often, we look at one path, determine it will not work and give up completely. If you were driving to Boston, and I-95 was closed, would you just give up and go home, or would you find another road?

Skills can be learned. Experience can be earned, either through work or even volunteer opportunities. Don't have time to volunteer? Is it that you really don't have time or you prioritize other things over your dream?

Need contacts? Go make them. Don't know how? I wrote a book on the topic.

The point is that whatever obstacle you have that keeps you from doing what you say you want to do can be overcome if you are willing to make some sacrifices to do it.

5. It's Closer than You Think
Often, all that you need to take a step towards your goal is one good connection. Just one introduction to someone who knows about that one job opening or apprenticeship opportunity. This comes back to that excuse of not knowing the right people.

Chances are that in the circle of people you know, there is at least one person who either is the connection you need or could introduce you to them. How do you find them? You put in the work. Have you made sure that everyone who knows you knows what you are trying to do? If not, how would they know to help you.

Once you have spread that message, it's time to go person to person. Talk to everyone you know individually and tell them what you are trying to achieve. Tell them whom you are trying to meet and ask them if they'd be able to help you. If they are your friends, they should be glad to introduce you to someone, and even if they are just acquaintances, most good people are happy to lend a hand. Think of the reverse. If an acquaintance asked you for an introduction to someone you knew, would you do so? Probably.

But first, you must believe that what you are trying to do is possible. You have to approach it with an attitude that you will find what you are looking for. It's only a matter of time. This confidence will show and make people more comfortable recommending you to their friends and contacts.

6. You Have At Least One Contact Who Will Help You
Don't think you know anyone who can help? I guarantee you know at least one. Reach out to me, and I'll be happy to talk you through what you need.

What I Learned From Changing Train Stations

It took me almost half of a year to solve a very simple transportation problem, and the reason it took so long is instructive in how we look at problems and their solutions.

Since November, I have been commuting to New York City one day a week. I live next to New London, so it made sense to get on the train at the New London station, but there was a problem.

If you are not familiar with Connecticut shoreline geography, New London is about 130 miles from New York City. The Metro North line runs to New Haven, and Shoreline East runs from New Haven to New London (sometimes).

Source: Google Maps

I would take the 5:50 train from New London, and I would sit at a nice comfortable table on the Shoreline East train all the way to Stamford, then take Metro North to Grand Central and a subway to the office. 3.5 hours, but most of that time is productive working time.

The problem is when I go to return home. I kept missing the train in New Haven that got me home at a reasonable time, so I had to take the 9:00 train and get to my car at 10:00. Thus, my day that began at 5:50 AM finished up around 10:10 PM. Not optimal.

I kept thinking that I just needed to catch an earlier Metro North train, but it turns out that I'd have to leave the office a little before 4:00 to catch the earlier New London train.

One of the 5:50 New London trains I rode.

It had been suggested that I drive to Old Saybrook, which has more trains, but it seemed silly to drive 25 minutes then take a train for 3 hours, when I could spend 3.5 hours on the train and have half an hour more productive time on the train. (I'm writing this article on the train, for example.) And, so, I got home super late every Monday night, exhausted and drained.

The solution, as it turns out, is simple: drive to Old Saybrook, catch the same train that goes to Stamford, then on the way back catch one of any number of trains to Old Saybrook and get home two hours earlier. Simple. Easy. Duh. How'd it take half a year to solve this problem?

I was trying to solve the wrong problem. I was trying to solve:

What is the most efficient way to get from New London to New York by train?

The problem I should have been solving was:

What is the most efficient way to get from Groton to New York?

You see, I don't live in New London. I live in Groton, one town east of New London. I thought I had the problem partially solved, knowing that the train left from New London, so I didn't reexamine that part of the puzzle. It's a matter of mental efficiency. We don't tend to look at the parts of the puzzle that are already solved. Why would we?

Train selfie on the Shoreline East

In life, often, what appears to be an effective preliminary step is not, and we need to reexamine the underlying "solutions" that we are basing our ultimate solutions on. By stepping back to the original question and away from the assumptions I had developed, I was able to conclude that Old Saybrook was the place to catch the train. I lose 25 minutes of working on the train, but I gain about 2 hours at home. Pretty good deal.

Next time you are struggling with an intractable problem, be sure that you are framing it correctly. Are you starting from assumptions, or are you starting from the raw situation? This will make all the difference.