Note: this story is an alternate
point of view of Cat
Person
by Kristen Roupenian in the December 11th, 2017 issue of the New
Yorker. Cat Person is a brilliantly written piece that was created
with considerable effort and does an excellent job of presenting a
very realistic and relatable story. I highly recommend you read Cat Person first. This story was written in one day
as a response and commentary. The purpose of this story is to expand
the discussion and perspective that has been created by this very
popular and excellent story, as well as to explore the mental states
that a passionate relationship can create. Ms. Roupenian deserves all
credit for any quality you find below. All quotes are from the
original story, and this is simply a fair use derivative to expand
the narrative.
Robert did not consider himself a
lonely man, but he would generally be considered a loner, largely
because the whole “people thing” did not often work out well for
him. He didn’t understand them well. He had some friends: people he
hung out with, gamed with, maybe had a beer with, but no one he was
really close with.
He’d dated a few women, but it always
ended the same way, with his heart broken and her going off on her
merry way, likely happy to be rid of him.
Robert could be described as awkward.
The word “aspy” had been suggested, as in describing someone with
Aspergers Syndrome, the mildest form of Autism. He didn’t disagree.
This is why he would do things like go
out to the movies by himself. He didn’t have anyone to go with, and
that was fine. It was him and his cats. It was nice enough. Who needs
a girlfriend? Cat’s never break your heart.
He liked the artsy theater downtown
because it had the movies that most people were too stupid to
understand, and he liked to go midweek because there were less of the
morons there who came the movie but came anyway to impress their
equally moronic girlfriends, ruining the experience by fiddling with
their phones all night.
He approached the concession stand and
ordered his customary large popcorn and box of Red Vines, largely
oblivious to who was behind the counter.
“That’s an… unusual choice,”
the concession-stand girl opined. “I don’t think I’ve ever
actually sold a box of Red Vines before.”
He suddenly noticed the young, bubbly
girl behind the counter. Probably because you’re too busy on
Instasnapping and Facetweeting to notice what you’re selling,
he thought to himself. He was used to people making fun of him for
this or that, but didn’t expect it here.
Not knowing what to say, he said,
“Well, O.K. then,” and pocketed his change, heading to his seat
and trying to put it out of his mind to enjoy the movie.
The next week he came back to the
theater. The same pretty young girl was there behind the concession
stand. He asked for another box of Red Vines. She handed it over
without commentary this time.
“You’re getting better at your job.
You managed not to insult me this time.” It never hurt to show some
appreciation when someone did something you liked. He’d heard that
somewhere.
In the split second between when he
finished speaking and when she replied, he had that feeling that he
had maybe said something he shouldn’t have. Wasn’t sure exactly
what. He had said the truth. But some people got offended by that.
“I’m up for a promotion, so…”
she shrugged.
She did seem offended. Was that a joke?
Was she engaging in banter with him? Sometimes he bantered online,
especially in the role playing rooms where he could adopt a persona.
It was easier online. He had time to think. Time to be witty and
clever. Never done it in person.
These thoughts wandered through his
head throughout the movie. The movie was in French anyway, so he
didn’t really follow it. He’d heard that some people got along so
well that awkwardness fell away. He’d seen these kinds of people on
TV, of course, but when Aaron Sorkin writes your lines it’s easy to
be clever. He’d actually known some couples who were like that.
Alex and Joanna, for example, two of his gaming friends that bounced
off each other like a comic duo. Could this Concession-stand girl be
his Joanna?
He was still half lost in thought when
he left the movie, so he quite surprised himself when he heard
“Concession-stand girl, give me your phone number,” come out of
his mouth. He was more surprised when she did.
